Harapan

Tuhan aku cuma perlu 2 minggu
Untuk konsistensi baru
Untuk mengisi masa luang
Untuk penuhi list yang aku catatkan
Tuhan berikan aku kekuatan
Untuk bangun setiap 2 pagi bertemuMu
Untuk tidur setiap 6-7 jam setiap hari
Untuk kamitkan mulutku dengan mathsurat itu
Untuk terus meneliti erti kalamMu
Untuk terus membaca tulisan pena
2 buah setiap minggu
Beri aku kekuatan untuk konsistensi ini Tuhan


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Random

I dont really understand some human.
For God sake they come in our life.
Be a good accompany.
Give good advices.
Ask lots of question.
Care 24/7.
But some time, they are not even there.
I dont know and i dont understand.
I just dont wanna ask.
Some things are better left unsaid.
And my ego goes over everything.
Am not goin to make any move for the next.
Am just waiting for the right moment.
You know sometimes you just dont understand things.
And you just let it be.
Dont wanna overthink.
But yet it happens.
Im done stalking someone tonight.
Someone who used to text me 24/7.
But its weird.
Coz i only knew this person just for a while.
I knew him over the weekend.
And we became that close.
As if i knew him for a very longgg time.
Seriously.
I cant even figure this thing out.
And my heart pumps like hell when i meet him.
Talk and listen to him.
And i did notice the same thing occur to him.
Till my friend said, akwardnya dengan mamat tu.
Oh God, why him.
Why this thing happen again.
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Focus

Career . Family . Own achievement . Travel and learn cultures and history . Networking . Build rapport .
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Happy Pills

Assalamualaikum.

Life is good now. Haha just got back from gym and suddenly meet some good guy. I cannot forget that winky face to me. I was so embarrass. I should play it cool though. Hahaha selingan cerita sebenar.

So today is the most happiest day of all. I got to shop a lot, go to gym, force myself to do to the max and sweat a lot. The kickboxing was awesome. Lepas habis semua masalah dunia hahaha ya Allah alhamdulillah segalanya.

And to my happy pills, hai you guys will never disappoint me kan.




M, you will never fail to make me laugh kan. And now you know me very well. Like seriously, slowly you catch up my pace of being sooo narcisist. We are dorkly narcisist. Tak sabar gila nak cari some time to lepak with you again. Ya Allah, lindungi dan berkatilah orang-orang seperti ini yang banyak membantu memudahkan urusan dan memberi aku kata semangat pada aku selama ni. Beri mereka kemurahan rezeki yang tak terhingga ya Allah. Lindungi mereka sebagai mana mereka selalu ada bersamaku susah dan senangku, tidak pernah berjauhan, lindungi mereka ya Allah.

Hee my life has been set to the most beautiful one. Alhamdulillah. My paris target is getting nearer. Tak sabar gila! Although ive been set myself into the fire, but theres a silver lining to it. Allah's plan never disappoint us. Ya Allah thank you so much for giving the chance for me to go to Paris, having vacation with family to KK, good friends, good environment, awesome working life, good lesson, good days, what else ya Allah. Alhamdulillah ya Allah.

Next, please give me the golden chance to visit our Prophet's places, both Makkah and Medinah. Amin amin amin ya Allah!!

Kumpul duit dulu okay!

Amin. Thank you for your kindness and mercy Allah. Im sooo happpyyyyyy and grateful!!

Cant wait for everything! XD XD
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Ke Manakah Kita

.....
Apalah erti hidup jika diri tiada berguna
Apalah hidup jika diri merosak bangsa
Apalah hidup jika diri penyebab kaum dihina
Apalah erti hidup jika masa dipersia
.....
Apalah hidup jika diri memperguna yang ada
Apalah hidup jika akal tidak diguna
Apalah hidup jika keseronokan semata
Apalah erti hidup jika hanya pandai berkata
.....
Apalah hidup amalan dipersia
Apalah hidup menindas yang tiada kuasa
Apalah hidup bertopengkan iman semata
Apalah erti hidup ketenangan itu tiada
.....
Apalah hidup menzahirkan kebaikan tetapi dalaman busuk tidak terkata
Apalah hidup Tuhan itu tiada makna
Apalah hidup menyakiti insan yang lemah
Apalah erti hidup semuanya tiada makna
Apalah erti segalanya jika menongkah arus agama
.....
Apalah erti hidup jika asal usul dilupa
Apalah hidup jika diri membongkak saja
Apalah hidup membusukkan sesama manusia
Apalah hidup keluh kesah gelisah ketenteraman tiada

Baik mati saja.




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Doa Yang Teraniaya

Bismillah hi alhamdulillah

Allah ya rahman ya rahim
Dengan namaMu aku berlindung
Buat kesekelian kalinya
Kau beri aku dugaan tak terduga
Dengan linangan air mata
Aku yang penuh noda dan dosa
Memohon ampun seampun ampunnya
Hanya padaMu saja aku memohon keampunan

Ya Allah ya Fatah ya Manan
Jika benar aku dianiaya
Jika benar aku ditipu
Dihina diburuk diherdik dicaci
Disakiti
Aku mohon padaMu ya Allah Ya rahman
Dengan bacaan Yasin 3 kali malam ini
Aku mohon padaMu
Turunkanlah bala seksaanMu
Pada insan yang menyakitiku
Aku tahu Kau tahu segalanya
Yang tersembunyi mahupun nyata
Maka kau berikanlah balasannya
Tidak kira masa
Siapa
Turunkanlah siksaan Mu
Hantarkan lah ragu ragu dalam hatinya
Hantarkanlah kegelisahan dalam hidupnya
Berikanlah keluh kesah pada hidupnya
Berikanlah kesusahan tidak terhingga padanya
Padamkan ketenangan dalam hatinya
Beri dia keserabutan
Ketidak teraturan
Musnahkan ketenteraman dalam hatinya
Biar dia rasa apa yang aku rasa

Bukankah Kau maha adil lagi saksama ya Razak
Ya Rab ya Wahab
Turunkanlah seksaanMu
Aku takkan berikan kemaafan
Mahupun keredhaan
Mahupun halalkan segalanya
Aku mohon padaMu ya Allah pencipta segalanya
Yang membenarkan segalanya terjadi
Aku mohon padamu
Timpakanlah kecelakaan baginya
Yang menzahirkan agama
Tetapi merosakkan agama
Yang menzahirkan kebaikan
Dan bertopengkan keagamaan
Untuk menipu
Membohong

Ya Tuhan segala kejadian
Saksikan lah
Bahawa aku sedang melepaskan segalanya padaMu
Aku perlu bantuanMu
Agar tiada lagi yang tertipu
Agar tiada lagi yang menjadi mangsa
Timpakan padanya sebenar-benar balasan
Agar dia terduduk dan memohon padamu
Akan penyesalan segala perbuatannya

Amin ya robbal alamin.

Segalanya aku berserah padaMu Tuhan yang mengetahui segala yang baik dan yang buruk

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Random

#StopWishingStartDoing

You know sometimes its kinda hard to start something brand new. Ive been working since last few months and this month is the 6th months la im here with the company.

Too many things in my head right now.

I dont wanna be the typical student who go to class lepastu balik tengok running man. Yes la i do love running man tapi sekarang takkan kot nak tengok running man tiap2 hari. I mean cmon man. Im 23 kot. I should have my own asset by now. Lol except for the car la.

And just because i want to be someone. I have ambition. I want to reach my target like doing bisnes sewa atas sewa, beli rumah, get involve in bisnes hartanah, part time takaful, certified personality coaching, etc. Banyak duhhh! I wanna be versatile. Yes thats the word!

But lately ive been thinking that i dont have that courage. And ah dont know whyyy. And this is weird.

All of these things listed in my head are all risky one. Its either you take the risk, or youll be staying at your conform zone sampai mati.

KL is a big city that everyone has a damn golden chance to be somebody. Its true tho.

But well yeah, its true, im too young, why need to rush one, lemme think about it. To get all the knowledge first. Satu satu pelan2 jalan.

Takaful knowledge done. Now waiting for hartanah, asb, rumah, dgn certified coaching punya sifu. Nak ilmu semua ni ingat free?

#nothingisfreeintheworld
#iwritewhatithought
#sobusy
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Supportive Dude

Hi Assalamualaikum.

Just a random write up.
I was thinking too much lately.
From the family thingy, works
Up to myself
Too many things to do
So little time
Sometimes overthinking kills you
Not sometimes
Everytime i supposed
So i dont know what happen to my health lately
No voice
Easy to fall sick
Got no energy etc
And today i think i have reached to my max threshold
Where i can no longer hold it anymore
So i decided to call someone
A good and a nice fella
So because of the different working hours
And customer was in
And i keep on telling nothing
I pretended that i was okay
So we just hang up that call
Just like that
But i decided to tell him via whatsapp
That life is very stressful nowadays
This is what he replied to me
He said that my perspective is too small
I took things for granted
He asked me to appreciate lil things like, Malaysia masih aman hahaha
Thats a good thing he said (its so true btw)
And, he asked me
To really stop trying to please everyone because i will lose myself
Thats the only way to live.
You know what pleases you
Do that
Too easy
That easy
And one more thing, expect less.
The world doesnt own you anything.
So because of this i was okay
I am okay by now
Its the truth anyway
I should have live my life
I mean not thinking of what happen next or what
But i have to live and seize the day
Just to enjoy every moment
Because my life is so beautiful right now
Alhamdulillah
Cool person he is

Goodnight!

XD



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Fight Like A Girl!

This is for girls who stay up all night,
This is for you who are willing to fight,
For hidden fears, hurt, pain and tears,
Under the smiles, laughs and giggles we hear,
Let your hair down, straight or curls,
You are beautiful because you fight like a girl.

For girls who wear short skirts and their heart on their sleeve,
For girls who know how difficult it is to believe,
The girls who scream and cry to their pillows,
And tell them their goals,
For girls who have a secret but can't tell us all,
Let your eyes be your diamond, make them your pearls,
You are beautiful because you fight like a girl.

For girls who have made mistakes had regrets galore,
The girls that may not win but always get up from the floor,
The girls who take life as it comes,
The girls who have broken the code,
For the girls who hope, that it'll get better somewhere down the road,
Let your steps be a dance, and jump, and do the swirl,
You are beautiful because you fight like a girl.

For the girls who love with all their heart,
Although it sometimes gets broke,
For the girls who think it's over,
To real girl, to all girls who have tears to soak,
You throw, you pick up, and fall,

But just tell the world,
I am beautiful, because,
I fight like a girl.

( CNBC TV18, SRK <3 )

#Motivation4Monday #benice #spreadpositivity

2900ft above sea level yeah!!


P/s I have overcome my fear of heights despite the tears and hardships and now i am proud that i have made it!! It is not that easy but it is worth it!!

I have a beautiful life now.



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New me


Hello guys, Introducing mah new soft yet stern looks.. watch out!


Im in Snapchat guys haha


Am enjoying life sooo muchhhhh!


Converse <3

xD





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Note to Self


Be yourself
Ignore what others think of you
Be yourself
Let them judge you
Be yourself
Let them say what they wanna say
Be yourself
Let them describe you
Just so you know
You are far ahead than them
Your life is beautiful than theirs
You are young and free
And nothing can stop you
Nothing can stop you, Fi




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Hail Good Days



A slumber did my feelings seal
I had no human fears
She seems a thing that could not feel
The touch of earlier years

On the floor we sit
Crazy things we did
The laugh that we had
Chit chatting,
Looking around,
Make noises..
This was in Subang Parade,
Watching the long lost Dorry.



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Its Me, Now

My wisdom comes from experience, 
My passion comes from pain, 
My confidence hides my insecurities, 
My weakness makes me stronger, 
My past does not define me, 
My strength is an illusion, 
My calm hides a storm, 
My innocence is not ignorance.
I am not the same soul I once was. 
A lot has changed. 
A lot had to change. 
So you shouldn’t expect out of me what I embodied in the past. 
For that part of me no longer exists.
The transformation isn't sweet and bright. 
Its dark and murky, painful and punishing 
And I believe every next level of your life will demand a different version of you 
And you should never apologize for evolving past your comfort zone.

Nicely written by someone!



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Inspiring


Decent boy you are,
You come to a point
Where
Nothing bothers you,
Youre a savage,
Cold hearted,
And you taught me to be one,
And i am now.
Nothing really bothers me.

To you,
Everyone else is annoying,
But you said you are the most annoying,
And no one can out-annoy you.
You dont judge people,
So you taught me to be one.

You dont over think,
So you taught me to be one.
You are the strongest one (well to my eyes, you are)
So you sincerely taught me to be one.
You are one and only kind when i say wish me luck,
You will say, "i wish you ruin it, whatever it is"
Then only you will say, "well goodluck".
You say whatever you wanna say,
You do whatever you wanna do,
So you taught me to be one.
Now you taught me to be on my own,
You tested me with that kind of whatsapp messages,
You taught me to be strong,
Not to overthink
Not to be sad over a silly thing
And i am now.
You 
Yes, You!
You built me stronger.

And now,
I am slowly and surely
Will be the strongest one
Stronger than you
And insyaAllah turn out to be better than you

We make ammends with the past
We learnt from it
We have to make room for better things to come
Freeing ourselves from negativity
Be ourselves
Learn from yesterday
Live for today
Hope for tomorrow

Thank you for your time with me,
I will definitely miss to contact and laugh with you,
May that time comes again and again.
Because i am what i am
I am who i am
When im with you.


p/s gonerrrr niiii gaji tak masuk lagiiii dan dah nak rayaaaaa cis! Hahahaha well i got a new snapchat account now! From fb, can switch to instagram and snapchat. Bye bye fb (lol since you always perli me for being so active in fb, so i stop now haha). This blog has become my way of expressing, but never to impress. I just type what goes around in my head. And currently is you.
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Time Passes By

As time passes by,
I will sleep next to the towel,
Every single day,
Just to remind me of you,
Who always help me,
In my darkest time.
You give me light,
When no one offers me the same,
All the effort that you potrays,
You always wanna make me laugh,
Even over a silly matter,
And i miss laughing with you by my side.
That annoying side of you,
I miss it too.
A day passed by already,
Not a single time passed without me..
Thinking of you..
Nasib baik ada towel biru stripe ni!
Glad that you gave me the thing that you love the most.
O Allah what is happening,
Please show me the truth,
Is he the real one?
Is this the final one?
The one that i want to sacrifise my whole life for him?
Allah please help me.
Show me the truth.

Ameen.


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Savage


Noun

One does not think or care about the consequences of his or her actions.

And i have schizoid personality disorder now, cold hearted, dont even care about others.

Thats me, Afilia.

And i love myself.



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To Celebrate Raya with A Hectic Working Life

Hey assalamualaikum semua.

Just want to say that i am now physically present for working, but my heart and soul are somewhere else. Hahaha Gosh, this is totally torturing me. Cant wait to go back home soon. Baju raya tak beli lagi, kuih raya tak buat lagi and i even promise my whole family to cook on the first day of Eid. Two main dishes will be served during that day, nasi lemak and the other one is western, which, i promise to do by my own. So i was thinking a lot, what to cook, what to buy, when, where, stuff like that.

So day by day passed by, i am counting and waiting for Monday! Lepas kerja kita chow.

Menu listed in my head are, Shepherd Pie, Spaghetti Bolognese, Meatball with cheesy sauce, Wedges with cheese.. Yang lain macam ketupat, rendang segala bagai tu is a must la. Wajib tu time raya. Because im working now, so i would like to treat my big family with my own money. 

But, thing is, i'll be back home a bit late due to work stuff kat KL ni. And im sincerely hoping that by the time i wanna go back to my hometown, please please, no jam for me pleaseeeeee. Else, haha mati lah.

I was thinking to reward myself ( as i have been working hard for the past 4 months and my percentage of target keep on increasing yay me! ) with a Chuck Taylor shoes, i was thinking to buy a pink one (tapi macam gedik sangat lah pulak). Maybe blue? You like blue arent you? So you must love blue colours of my shoes later! Hahaha Or maybe red or maroon la. Tengok la. But it was confusing whether to buy Chuck Taylor or Vans. Arghhhh this working days while thinking of raya is totally killing me!!

Ehem.

This raya i decided to unhook myself from you. Starting today, i will not send you a message or even drop you a call or even to meet you in person. I realize something, i am actually getting tooooo close to you. Too into you. And i dont know why, i dont know the reason why is this happening, why you after all these days? But i still have the blue towel that you gave me on the plane, that last flight from Sarawak back to KL. That memory is still fresh in my head even after a year. Been so long lah. Aish when thinking about this, it kinda weird. Whatever it is, we just follow the flow lah kan. Biar je la. So from this week up to next week, or maybe, next two weeks, you will not see me as your first contact that always disturb you, day and night. But anyway i still want to give you one Raya message, day before raya. So, please wait for that. Nothing else now, just, all the best to you, be safe while going back to Pahang, enjoy the moment ( melemang, basuh carpet segala bagai :P ). Lepas cuti raya kita lepak lagi hokey? :) For now, let us focus to be the best servant to Allah, for the last 10 days of Ramadhan. I know you work hard on this as i am working hard to please Allah far more better than those days, alhamdulillah.

Last, do take care peeps, be blessed and may Allah reward us with Lailatul Qadr. Amin amin ya robbal alamin.

P/s dont judge or guess who is coming from Pahang :P

Till then, maassalamah!



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Hee



Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah syukran ya Allah.



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Better Life

I love my life now. I am sooo happy and i am too into you. Too late now. Too late. But whatever it is, lets cherish everything together okay?
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Hikmah Ramadhan

Bila tinta hati berbicara,
Terusik dek kerana pandangan mata,
Maka ketahuilah,
Tanda terusik itu,
Tandanya ada iman.

Melihatkan sang jejaka,
Berbaju lusuh,
Berseluar rugget,
Tali dan rantai perak,
Membaluti separuh jeans lusuh itu,
Rambutnya mengikut trend semasa, Mohawk,
Tajam, terpacak,
Namun masih warnanya hitam.

Dia mendekati tabungnya masjid,
Aku serik,
Minggu kelmarin, masjid itu,
Tabungnya dicuri,
Ya depan mataku ini semua terjadi,
Aku jadi tak keruan,
Aku jadi seriau,
Aku takutkan jejaki ini,
Seakannya dia mahu mencuri tabungnya masjid.

Rupanya..
Aku salah,
Aku hina,
Aku yang berdosa.

Jejaki ini,
Dengan senyap senyap,
Secara mencuri curi,
Melempar sejumlah wang kertas ke dalam tabung itu.

Aku sangat terkesan dengan perbuatan ini.
Secepatnya aku keluar dari masjid itu,
Ku hampiri keretaku,
Enjinnya aku hidupkan,
Aku termenung sendirian,
Pipiku basah.

Ya Allah, apakah hinanya aku,
Menilai orang sebegitu rupa.
Ya Allah, apakah berdosanya aku,
Menganggap yang bukan bukan padanya.
Ya Allah, apakah teruknya aku,
Sehingga begini sekali penangan Ramadhan kepadaku.

Ya Allah Allah mustaan,
Allah hu kareem,
Allah hu aalam.

Ampunkan dosa ku ya Allah.
Aku lemah.
Gantikan hati ku dengan hati yang baru.
Dengan apa jua cara sekalipun.
Aku mahu hati yang baru.

:"(
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It Tells Everything

Assalamualaikum guys and gals,

So tonight i am waiting for the right time to sleep, yeah i know, a major migraine is coming in, going to strike me soon, so at the meantime, i shall write something.

Last week, i was wondering around at the Seksyen 13 Shah Alam Bazaar, there were variety of food till i didnt know what to choose. That day i was searching for food, for both of us. Its not about food la for this entry but its about you.

When i called you many times, but you didnt pick the phone up, i was thinking that you played me very well. Because i dont even know where is the place that we were going to buka puasa together. So me being me, i asked a lot of people, still, i couldnt find the exact place. Then i bumped into one of your colleague (same attire la i guess, thats why i recognise), i followed him to the location.

And i found you.

To my surprise, there was a long queue of people, waiting to order their food. And, you were alone at that time.

There and then, you taught me something :

1. You taught me to deliver the best to your customer without even being clumsy or getting nervous. With the sweet smile on your face, you handled 10 customers at one time and you made me so proud of you. I'd listen something at that time, there was a customer that give you tips for you awesome service but you refuse to take. Instead you give the tips to your mengelat-colleague i should say.

2. Instead of getting mad and angry to your colleague, you even give the tips to him and just ignore him and you just do the best for your customer. You dont even complain about it, you dont even make a fuss about that, you just simply ignore it. This makes me even wow wow wow. Im so proud of you. Youre so kind and one kind in the world. Bukan senang just to simply let the things go because you have to layan those 10 customers all alone.

What a nice guy you are!

I should learn everything from you. Every single thing. Thanks for coming to my life, youre such an inspiring motivated person!

I keep thinking of this till at that night i even dream of you :') Thank you for the treat on the sneak peak of Now You See Me 2. Not even officially in the cinema but we watched it earlier than others. How awesome is that! Nice movie by the way, it is recommended to watch Now You See Me 2.

I wish to meet you again and again, everyday, can? :'') And please teach me everything that now you have taught me to become stronger and even stronger. You taught me to have that special awesome persona. Directly and indirectly.

Thank you so much, M. Thank you!!

Sincerely,

Fi
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A Nice Letter To Afilia

Dear Afilia,

I know you have come to a phase where you forgot your past and you fast forward it to the future,
I know you have taken one last look over the shoulder, and say goodbye to regrets, fear and shame,
I know what it feels like,
Its like youre having amnesia,
Which is good, good for you,
You tend to forget every single thing,
And start a brand new life,
You are turning yourself to the sun,
You are eager to face and celebrate whatever will come next,
You are now living in the present peacefully,
You got no grudge, you hold no enemies,
You must climb high up the mountain,
And left whatever that coz the negativity to you,
You have nothing to lose,
You are on your own,
You dont depend on anyone else in this world,
You are not pathetic as other human,
Who always happy to make other people suffer.

You have to remember,
Whatever you pray to Allah,
Allah will make it comes true,
Be it by a good result or as a test,
Afterall Allah knows the best for you.
Allah knows what is worth for you,
And what is not,
You deserve better in what condition per say.

I know there will be times you will be facing a hard time,
There will be some kind of shit happens in your life,
You are young, girl.
Young and free.
Its good to face all the challenges now,
You are stronger now,
Everything that happens,
Dont ever hold it,
Let it go for a while,
Then come back and settle it,
You have been sooo strong up to this moment,
You have gone through many thingss in your life,
On your own self,
And theres no one by your side,
Just so you know,
The strength comes from Allah the almighty,
And it might be coming from your parents' prayer,
And your happiest family and the valuable people surround you,
They are there for a reason,
And for that you have to be thankful.

Please climb up the mountain,
Slowly, bit by bit,
And believe you will make it to the top.
And at the top,
You will surely see,
Those pathetic one are suffering for their life in regreting something,
You can see them as undead, alive,
But reeking bodies.
They cannot move on from the past as what you did now,
They are living the life in the guilty,
They are reeking bodies.
But too bad, girl.
You still can smell it from the top.
But,
I promise you will be smiling and laughing out loud,
Because you know,
Karma or Allah's promises are aint no joke.

You got your own blood family,
You got your own company's family,
All the lecturers,
Beloved person,
Supportive friends,
Whatelse that you want?

All you have to do is to unleash your persona,
Work hard for your future,
Prove to those that you are in your own phase,
Until one day you can spit these words on their face,
Hey dude look at me, and look at you,
Youre sucha pathetic person,
Im pity of you.
Want to have piece of advices from me?
No, i bet you dont.

Haha
But afterall, congratulations, girl
You made it thus far.
So much lesson learnt.
And i believe theres so much more coming.

And you can do this!

The one that always be there for you, Me.

Last posting of da day wuhuuu, till then

Fi.
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Red Rose



Even if its not a bouquet de roses, but still its sweet as honey. Thank you for the rose while i was so busy doing my work that day. Never receive a flower from any guy before this. Haha

So i find this something new. Well you are that special and different from any typical man out there.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Faces like yours belong in the zoo
Oopsss dont be mad
I'll be there too
Not in the cage
But laughing at you

;)  

Kiddin (you know this right hihi)

Thank God, its Afilia.

Because this blog has been left for quite a long time, so i hope theres no one reading this. Else, haha malunyaa.

Okay daa,

Fi.

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Of Puasa and Iftar Moments Together

Salam Ramadhan Kareem.

Today is the last day of the holiday, so im going to write quite a lot (lol bajet macam ada orang nak baca je) haha. Never mind, because i write to express not to impress. I love reading back what ive been written for the past 10 years. So ill write a lot, ofcourse la if got free time loo. Afta this no more leisure time like thissssss.

Erm.

I have set up one rule for this Ramadhan, i cannot or am not allowed to post anything to my fb. Lol but i actively posting things on my instagram, siap nyanyi buat cover lagu lagi tuuu hahaha. But since someone told me to slow down a bit during this holly month, so yeah thats what ive been doing now la. To respect the holy month, to minimise doing any sins, to maximise the time doing things that pull me back to Allah. Alhamdulillah.

I dont mind going to tarawih alone, i dont mind people look at me like crazy (lol since i go out only using telekung, and its a walking distance from my house to the surau, so it might scare the people i guess) hahahhaa.

I dont mind anything now.

I got the superpower to ignore what people say about me. People will judge anyway. And who the hell am i to stop it? So i tend to ignore everything and hey lets enjoy every moments that we have. Soon we will not be here anymore in this world.

So here we go, the first week of Ramadhan's iftar and crazy time. Different time, different people, different places and different moments. And i cherish everything. Hihi










Why only these two people?
Haha because they are my favourite person now and forever hihi.


Okay la until next posting.

Fi.




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Aku

So irony when you have the most comfy bed in the world, with the cool airconditioner, nice blanket, but you couldnt sleep at all. Lol my bad because i slept for like 3 hours just now. Now im just waiting for my sahoor.

While waiting for that, i just simply plug in my earphone and now i kinda like the Ruth B's song named, Lost Boy. So cool huh the lyrics. And all the songs by Caprice, my one and only motivator.

And im kinda addicted to Wattpad now. Everything that i read may somehow help me in my write up.

Why so random haha lupa dah macam mana nak tulis blog.

Anyway, i am so blessed today alhamdulillah. Allah is the greatest planner of all. I make my family happy. Cant wait to go back to KL and rock the routine again. And be back at my home and yeah its Raya time.

And yeah cant wait to meet with you silly guy. Haha youre my addiction. Kinda addiction. I have lost in the world that you prepared for me. I wish the thin line between us still remain the same and we just inhabit all the moments that we have.

Make it alive.
Full with laughter.
Happiness.
Smile.
And crazy time.
Afterall, we got nothing to lose right?
Atleast we have something sweet to be remembered.
Lets cherish everything.

Eh hey in 2015, remember, when i was busy with my fyp, there was a time we discussed that you will be my partner when i go to Paris? Haha itll be soon. And i guess its you la the one that have to accomapny me there. So start saving your money haa. Or lets go hiking together one day? Its freeeeee Haha Or eat some big portion of food again? Tomorrow? Can? Haha

Sorry for the random thoughts. I just write what pops up in my head now. I dont know why this only fella comes in my head. Yeah i guess your prediction is true.

Oh God.

And at the moment, lets wake granny and grandpa up before imsak time comes. Haha else, ill be whacked by them this morning.

Last,

Mahu Kopi?
Teh?
Atau
Aku?

Hihi.

Till then,

Fi.



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Too Random To Write

Assalamualaikum guys and gals.

Since i am now waiting for all the guys to clear up from Shalah Jumaat, i end up waiting in the car because i am too shy to enter the mosque. Yeah its a blessed Friday today, alhamdulillah, so its kinda full with all the dudes.

So i just stay in my car and thats when i thought of writing something.

Alhamdulillah life couldnt be better than this. I have what i need. Good friends, good life, blessed and happiest family, great life, awesome backbone, good career and what else. Couldnt ask for more. Alhamdulillah.

I have come to a phase when i dont even care on what is happening around me. Who is talking bad about me, all the questions being asked, all the rumours etc. Not anymore.

Theres one hell person ( oops i should say nicest person ever la even the fact he is soooooooo dem annoying to me ), he helped me a lot in shaping me to who i am today (toughest of all).

Hes that kind when i say, hey lets hang out, he will definitely reply, yeah can, where?

But thats not the point i wanna story here.

Once.. i asked him suddenly, why you want to annoy me when i need your help the most? Why you keep doing stuff that piss me off when its totally a wrong time to do so? Just why? You make me laugh when i was so depress, you make that silly face expression (sengal) when i was so sad. Why dude why?

Hahaha. His answer was priceless. I never thought this will come out from his mouth.

He said,

Fi, aku nak kau jadi kuat macam aku. Aku bukan buat ni saja-saja je. I wanna you to be strong like me! Even stronger than me. Hati kena kering bukan sado je. The thing is, you always think about people, Fi. Now forget about other people. Let them judge if they want to judge. Love yourself to the fullest. Care about your own self first. Be yourself, Fi. Proud of yourself. Be grateful for every moments you have, inhabit the moments! I want you to be like that. Till then, i will keep on pissing you off until one moment comes, when you dont even care lagi dah.

Kalau orang kutuk kita, we should kutuk diri kita lagi teruk. Dont ever defend ourself. Let it be. Its you who know yourself the very best, Fi. Bukan orang lain.

 I was so shocked when he said things like that. He never treat me like that one la. Because hes crazyh and silly. But yeah haha so nice of you la.

I just remember theres a time we sing songs together in the car, scream over the silly Waze Apps, yell on the apps, laugh at other people like mad, laugh at the McDonald's staff when he said salam tarawikh hahahaha and maki that Maybank staff haha. Theres a time when we eat a lot like crazyh, time when i feel like so silly when i make some jokes but you didnt laugh! Pity me hokey! Time when you lie to me and yeah i believe all the silly lies you told me. Geeezzzzzzz!! Haha

You know what? I am totally being myself if i hang out with this guy. Like to scream, sing out loud, laugh at people, talk loudly, being crazyhhh. This is sooooo me. I dont need to control anything nor i need to impress, just nothing. Just nothing. I am me. And he dont even care. Oh God you create such a nice fella over here.

Well i personally think..

I am, yes i am in that phase where i just dont even care anymore. Haha you did it dude!

Lets hang out again to celebrate! Haha

I am so happy for what i am, who i am today. Alhamdulillah God is so good to me. Allah is the greatest of all. The best planner of all. Alhamdulillah.

Been ages since the last write up. I forgot how to write actually. But now im thinking to slowly and gracefully start to write some manuscript and send them to any publication yang accept my write up la. Lets have some great title in the list first before going any further. And yeah, i would like to be anonymous writer.

So to the one who had helped me a lot when i was at the lowest peak of my life, thank you so much  Lol i shouldnt say thanks pun since you always annoy me with your jokes, white lies haha.

But anyway, it does help me a lot. Looking forward to be annoyed again and again until i become the most ignorant person in the world.

Haha

Tooodles,

Fi.

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